Hey thanks. Naturally, we can just chalk this up to me being dumb. I apparently did fill my database with individually cast str() for some wild reason in the beginning. Not sure why I had to get hung up here for a day to figure it out, but seeing it finally load just now after re-doing the database just now was damn sweet. Thanks again.
code-snapshot1.png

(The silly error, commented out and pasted above. Cheers)